keywords: gaslighting, manipulation, abuser
If you’ve ever had your feelings or actions questioned by someone close to you, you’re probably familiar with the term gaslighting. This manipulation tactic is mainly used by abusers to make their victims question their own sanity and trust their abuser instead.
When you’re the victim of gaslighting, your own instincts and perceptions are replaced by doubts and confusion that keep building until they become impossible to ignore.
In short, it makes you question everything about yourself until there’s nothing left but doubt and fear. You see, if someone has a problem with how you think or react, they won’t go out of their way to convince you otherwise. But this is exactly what a gaslighter will do in order to make you second-guess yourself. Here are five powerful ways an abuser will attempt to gaslight you at work:
Assign Blame For Your Performance Issues
When someone at work is gaslighting you, they’re almost always trying to blame your performance issues on something you did in the past. If they can somehow get you to feel guilty about your own mistakes, they can control you by making you second-guess yourself.
For example, let’s say you regularly miss deadlines and your manager is being very critical of these issues with you. Your manager might come to you one day and say, “Hey, I’ve got a good idea about why you’re always late with these projects.” You know that this is not true, but if your manager keeps making you feel guilty about your own mistakes, you will eventually start believing
Question Your Work Habits
Gaslighting often takes the form of making you question the way you operate at work. For example, your manager might question your work habits and suddenly make you feel guilty for things you used to do all the time without thinking twice about them.
Or, they might make you question the reasoning behind why you do certain things. If someone at work is gaslighting you, they’ll make you feel guilty about the way you work and question the reasons behind your actions. Ideally, you want to avoid both of these emotions if you want to build a successful career. So, how do you do that? First, try to stay objective about your own habits and decisions.
Second, try to seek feedback and advice from your manager and coworkers whenever you can. This will help you stay objective about how you work. Finally, remember that everyone has their own way of doing things.
Don’t feel bad if your work habits and decisions are different from someone else’s.
Make Accusations About Your Emotions And Behaviour
Gaslighting can also take the form of accusations about your emotions and behaviour at work. If your manager makes you feel guilty about your emotions and accuses you of showing up to work with a “negative attitude,” you might start to question your own attitude.
At the same time, your micromanaging manager might also start accusing you of behaviour that you know is not true. This might include accusations about your behaviour in the past or your future behaviour at work. For example, let’s say that you recently got a new task at work, and your manager is very critical of this.
Your manager might accuse you of looking down on the task and being uninterested in it. You might want to resist these emotions and try to stay objective. Try to remember that there’s no such thing as perfect and that everyone has good and bad days.
When you start questioning your own motives, you might want to try to remember that and remember that everything is normal and acceptable.
Justify Their Actions With a Catch-All Excuse
Gaslighters are masters at justifying their behaviour with a catch-all excuse. In the case of your micromanaging manager who seems to have a problem with you, they might start accusing you of symptoms that you know have nothing to do with your real problems.
For example, your manager might accuse you of showing up to work “too tired” or “too hungover” and make you feel guilty for these things. They might also accuse you of not showing up to work on time and then come up with some excuse to justify this.
They might tell you that “everyone” is doing this and that “everyone” is late with work. Or your micromanaging manager might tell you that they “forgot” to give you a work-related email. As you can see, these are not real excuses.
These are manipulative tactics meant to make you feel guilty and worthless. If someone at work is gaslighting you, they might try to make you feel guilty for your own poor decisions and decisions.
At the same time, they might accuse you of “symptoms” that have nothing to do with your poor decisions.
Don’t Trust Anyone At Work, Even Your Coworkers
The best way to deal with gaslighting at work is to trust only those who have your best interests at heart. If someone at work is gaslighting you, you want to avoid trusting them. Try to stay as objective as possible.
Try to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that no one is perfect. Try to remember that everyone has good days and bad days and that no one is perfect. If there’s someone at work who you know is gaslighting you, try to avoid trusting them.
Try to stay as objective as possible and avoid making decisions that they have a say in. Try to keep your decisions as close to you as possible and try to keep your emotions close to the ground.
When you keep your trust as close as possible to you, you’re able to see through gaslighting and manipulative tactics much faster.
Gaslighting is a very serious and dangerous way for someone to control you or your relationship. Fortunately, it’s a common tactic that can be easily spotted and dealt with. If someone is gaslighting you, try to stay objective about your own decisions and behaviours. Avoid making decisions that they have a say in.
If you’re experiencing gaslighting at work, remember that the best way to deal with it is to trust only those who have your best interests at heart. Try to stay as objective as possible and try to remember that everyone makes mistakes and that no one is perfect.